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20/12/2017 0 Comments The -phoria twinsWow, it has been a while since I posted a blog entry. Mostly things have been going great. Friends and family are wonderful.
Over the last week or so, I have been having very conflicting things going on that I am finding a bit hard to processes. I have been absolutely euphoric about how my body has changed since I started HRT 13 months ago. Since I started taking progesterone, I have seen definite breast growth. It is very exciting and I still find it amazing that I actually have breasts! A lifetime of longing for them is finally a reality! My hips and butt have also changed dramatically over the last year. Leggings fit oh, so much better and skirts definitely can't fall off! Which leads me to the dysphoria twin! That bitch has been hounding me a lot lately. Now, it isn't my body as a whole, but strictly my genitals. I really hate the mass hanging between my legs. The testicles are the bulk of the bulk, and I so want them gone. Fortunately, I am making headway on having an orchiectomy. I have the first letter I need and an appointment on January 9th to get the second. I have a consult for the procedure set up for February 16th. Hopefully, I can say good bye to them shortly after that. Which will leave me with just my penis. I year ago, I was fine with keeping it, but after a year of living as my true self, I really want to have a vagina. Whenever I spend some private time with myself, the feeling of where my desire is centered has shifted. There is definitely a longing to be penetrated. The few times over the last year when I have actually tried stroking myself, I have freaked out. It was so wrong feeling. It seems to me that I am probably going to go for genital confirmation surgery at some point. I have so much to process, but this is feeling more and more like where I need to go.
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