|
10/9/2017 0 Comments SexOK, I think it is time to get very, very personal. This is likely to be a very painful post for me.
I have always found sex to be quite a scary thing. So scary in fact that I didn't actually have any intimacy with someone until I was 23 years old. On top of that, I have never been good at it. Sure, I was pretty good at foreplay. That is the bomb, but when it actually comes to getting it on, I suck. I always orgasm way too fast and found the finish mostly unpleasant. I have always loved masturbating however. I would usually do it most days, sometimes more than once a day. It was kind of frightening sometimes how often I would do it. I would even do it at work. It was crazy. A few years prior to transitioning, I started playing around with chastity. I could lock up my penis and not worry about sneaking in a quickie during the day. Of course, not having access to it just made me think about it all the more. My days were filled with me obsessing about getting off. Unless I made some sort of arrangement to keep the keys out of reach, I would break down after a couple days. I dreamed of going a month, but could never get there. I think the longest I was ever able to last was 10 days. Around the same time I discovered that numbing cream did a good job of keeping me from orgasming. Also, not being able to feel me genitals was kind of an awesome feeling. I really liked that quite a bit. Now, after being on estrogen for 10 months and spiro for 9, those bits function completely differently. My penis barely gets hard anymore, which I am loving. I find that I wish it would stay completely flaccid though. The type of stimulation required to get off has changed dramatically as has how I want to be touched. Orgasms are far more intense and body wide. They are truly mind blowing. Recently, I have found that I really, really want to be penetrated. I know that anal isn't where this is focused. I don't think that would satisfy me. This is one of the reasons that I am now considering bottom surgery. I have thought about various other options, and they all lead me to feeling like I would be dissatisfied with the end results. I have lots and lots to work through on this. It is such a big change from where I was even 6 months ago.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorArchives
December 2018
Categories |